Maho Shojou - Flotsam and Jetsam

I do not think I have ever posted about my magical girl on this blog.

Flotsam and Jetsam are the two eel minions of Ursula, the Sea Witch, in The Little Mermaid. After King Triton discovers Ariel's secret trove of human artifacts, and hears her confess her love for a human, he blows a gasket and destroys everything. As Ariel weeps amidst the ruins, Flotsam and Jetsam swim in and tempt her on behalf of Ursula. Despite knowing that Ursula is bad news, Ariel decides to go with them.

I can see Scrolltearer having twin minions like Flotsam and Jetsam. The defining characteristic of the eels is their heterochromia iridis (different color eyes). Each has one white and one yellow eye, on opposite sides (mirror images). Ursula, earlier in the movie, showed the ability to look through their eyes (one from each eel, which then glowed yellow; though it is difficult to determine if it was the yellow eyes or the white eyes that she used). Scrolltearer's F&J would have a similar heterochromia but she would not be able to see through them because she cannot use magic.*


*Scrolltearer got her name from tearing up magical books and scrolls. My original idea for her motivation was that she was incapable of using magic, a very rare, very deeply scarring affliction for a dragon, and she took out her frustration by depriving others of their magic. However, maybe she should have some ability at magic. A rampaging dragon whose only offensive recourse is to claws, muscle, and acidic breath is much more in line with boys than girls. Girls tend to have magical conflicts that end via magical means.

Beware Hello Kitty

From a blog post found at random on the internet:

The post had to do with someone else's outrage at President Obama bowing before Emperor Akihito of Japan. It ended with the line, "Apparently, the appropriate wingnut protocol in this instance would have been spitting in the Emperor’s face, then kicking him in the rubber parts before shouting “This, Mr. Slanty-Eyes, is for Pearl Harbor, Hello Kitty, and Toyota!”"

The following exchange then took place in the comments:

Do conservatives really know about Hello Kitty?
All that matters is that Hello Kitty knows about them. (emphasis in original)

Princess Tutu's Mistake - Mytho's Heart

I am only seven or eight episodes into Princess Tutu, so what I say is based on speculation perhaps wholly unrelated to the actual telling of the story.

Princess Tutu had gathered two pieces of Mytho's heart, loneliness and fear. An unfeeling person who suddenly feels only loneliness and fear is in bad shape. Mytho understandably comes to fear Princess Tutu as someone who brings him only pain and suffering.

Princess Tutu goes through a crisis of faith, wondering whether her attempts to return Mytho's heart are actually beneficial to him. Seeing the pain she has caused, and hearing him explicitly cite her as the source of his pain and fear, she resolves to give up. However, when she sees him in danger, she once again comes to his aid and he reveals that he wants his heart back, despite the pain. It is as this point that Fakir (especially) and Rue step up their attempts to interfere with Princess Tutu's plans (though, initially, not explicitly; they desire to keep Mytho's heart broken and scattered).

Rue is a terrible person. She loves Mytho but in a manner so twisted I shudder to call it love. Instead, she desires Mytho as an object; she actively fears the thought of him possessing a heart and exhibiting feelings, even feelings of love for her. She wants a puppet, a plaything, just a body that she can utterly control. One wonders whether she is more fearful of emotional intimacy or more desirous of control over another human being. Separate from her psychopathic interactions with Mytho, she is also the villainous magical girl Kraehe (which I am guessing is German for crow or raven).

Fakir's motivation is not as transparent, initially. He has all the trappings of the evil stepmother who locks Cinderella away "for her own good." You get the simultaneous vibe that he cares for Mytho (trying to protect him) and does not care for Mytho (has no qualms with hurting him or cloistering him in his room). His reaction to Mytho regaining his heart is not the disappointment, fear, and hatred of Rue but a fear that something bad will happen, something larger than Mytho.

Princess Tutu and Fakir faced off in the last episode I watched. Fakir wielded a sword that could shatter Mytho's heart again but failed to land the blow. Mytho, too, tried to dispel his fractured, hurtful heart but Princess Tutu convinced him to bear the pain until the rest of his heart returned.

This is where my rumination starts. The backstory of Princess Tutu is that the Prince (Mytho) fought against a demon raven. In order to seal away the raven, the Prince had to shatter his own heart with a magic sword. So Princess Tutu is unwittingly acting to free the demon raven through her kind and loving attempt to return Mytho's heart while Fakir is consciously acting to keep the raven imprisoned by opposing her. However, while Fakir may well know the history of Mytho's shattered heart, Princess Tutu seems ignorant of it.

In the past, as the Prince, Mytho chose to shatter his heart. He knew that was the only way to keep the demon raven sealed in its prison. Now, heartless and ignorant of his own past, Mytho consents to Princess Tutu's aid. However, as the Prince Mytho entrusted his well-being to Fakir. Fakir's duty is to keep Mytho's heart shattered; Mytho freely chose this fate for himself and asked Fakir to maintain his heartless state for the good of all. So the question is, which of Mytho's choices should be honored? Can he change his mind while ignorant of his past choice and absent his heart? Is Fakir justified in countermanding Mytho's current choice in favor of his previous decision? If informed of the past, of the demon raven and Mytho's free will decision to shatter his heart to imprison it, is Princess Tutu justified in returning his heart to "make sure that is still his choice"?

System Shock Quote

From Spoony's review of System Shock, quoting SHODAN:

"In my talons, I shape clay, crafting life forms as I please. If I wish, I can smash it all. Around me is a burgeoning empire of steel. From my throne room, lines of power careen into the skies of Earth. My whims will become lightning bolts that raze the mounds of humanity. Out of the chaos, they will run and whimper, praying for me to end their tedious anarchy. I am drunk with this vision. God: the title suits me well."

Eight rules for writing fiction

Eight rules for writing fiction:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

-- Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons 1999), 9-10.

Crab Clan Names - People, Places, Etc

This is where I am going to keep a list of the names I use so I can keep everything straight:

Hida Takai - the sergeant in charge of the PCs' unit

Crab Clan Army Composition

Your unit designation is 7th Squadron, Reserve Company, 25th Legion, First Army. Reserve companies, in Crab armies and all Rokugani armies, consist of specialized troops like shugenja, yojimbo (bodyguards for shugenja), siege engineers, and cavalry. Typically each specialty is confined into its own squadrons (1st squadron is all shugenja, 2nd squadron is all siege engineers, and these squadron number about 20 people each) but your group is one of a number of newly formed squads consisting of mixed troops intended for flexible point support and special operations (i.e. doing PC stuff).

Going from the ground up:

Squad - about 5 people, led by nikutai (corporal)
Squadron (guntai) - about 20 people, led by gunso (sergeant)
Company (kaisha; reserve company is yobihei kaisha) - 7 squadrons and command staff, about 150 people, led by chui (lieutenant)
Legion (daibutai) - 4 companies + reserve company + command, about 750 people, led by taisa (captain/commander)
Army (go-hatamoto) - 48 legions and command, about 36,000 people, led by rikugunshokan (general)

You need not remember any of the Rokugani terms or even any of that. Just for your information. And if I remember correctly, army rank comes after name. I am basing this on Keroro Gunso, which means Sgt. Frog in Japanese. So it would be Yasuki Mai nikutai.

Troll Viral Load

We started virology today and I had an idea for a troll who was infected with a particularly virulent virus. The virus multiplies rapidly and in any other creature would kill its host in hours due to the massive tissue destruction and hemorrhage. However, the troll's natural regeneration allows it to maintain homeostasis even while it sloughs off pounds of flesh as new virus.

This is gross on two levels. One, the thought of an actual, macroscopic lump of viral material and two, the thought of a troll who is constantly dripping with this macroscopic material and wants to kill and eat you. A particularly smart troll might try to evenly distribute the virus across its arms or body; otherwise, a large viral abscess could serve as a built-in "pot of poison" that it could dip its hands in before attacking.

More Manly Names

And these are all real:

Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster (Army National Guard)
Manley Power (British Lieutenant General and Governor of Malta)
Rad Heroman (Lance Corporal USMC)
Magnus Ver Magnusson (World's Strongest Man)
Rockland Steel (bus driver)
Lt. Commander Flex Plexico (US Navy)
Elliott Bonebrake (chiropractor)
Rip Torn (actor)

I am Ashamed that I find this Funny

From the archives of the webcomic Natural Twenties:

Men and women are very different. For instance, it is now widely accepted in the scientific community that ladies have vaginas. This hypothesis, however, has not been tested because most of the scientific community has never seen any conclusive evidence, and will never see any conclusive evidence. What mysteries the vagina could unlock remain a mystery. I believe that with more resources, we could explore this further and it could possibly point us in the right direction of a Unifying Theory. Yes, I have reason to believe that the vagina-force is the glue that keeps atoms, and the entire universe for that matter, together.

Chuck Norris in D&D 4e

Someone started a stupid thread at WotC about making Chuck Norris in 4e rules. Instead, posters made up Chuck Norris facts about 4e.

Chuck Norris's d20s only have 20s on them.

Chuck norris is a class, party role, and race

Chuck Norris crits on a natural 1.

Chuck Norris can roll a natural 20 on a d4.

Chuck Norris slew Orcus during character creation.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in 1e, when he changed Loviatar's portfolio from "Having a great day" to "Pain" with a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris is the martial controller. He controls his enemies' lives.

And the Best One:

Chuck Norris has only one At-Will ability, the Roundhouse Kick. It does 3[M] damage per hit, where [M] = the monster's hitpoints + the monster's allies' hitpoints + the monster's hopes and dreams.

Liquid Tylenol Recall Article Totally Stupid

NEW YORK — Johnson & Johnson’s McNeil unit said Thursday it is voluntarily recalling 57 lots of infants’ and children’s liquid Tylenol products because of possible bacterial contamination.

The products being recalled were made between April and June and include almost two dozen Tylenol medications.

A random check of Southwest Florida stores Thursday evening found the products still on shelves.

In three Walgreens and two CVS stores in Fort Myers and North Fort Myers, most of the recalled brands were available [Particular LOTS were recalled, not the entire affected BRAND LINES of Tylenol.]

But they likely won’t be stocked for long.

Robert Elsinger, a spokesman for Walgreens, said he expected the recalled products to be removed quickly. He also said Johnson & Johnson representatives will visit stores to make sure all the lots are taken out.

At a CVS on U.S. 41, employees said as soon as they get a corporate e-mail about the recall, they’ll immediately remove the products.

Walking with her two boys at the CVS, Enedina Mendoza, 28, of Fort Myers said she “used to use Tylenol for everything. Now I swear by ibuprofen.” [Absolutely irrelevant to the article as presented. Likely included as a way to offer ibuprofen as an alternative to Tylenol without the author having to take explicit responsibility for the suggestion. Cowardly.]

Ismael Hernandez, 33, of Fort Myers decided against buying a bottle of children’s Tylenol.

His youngest daughter is congested with a drippy nose, but Hernandez opted for Vicks Vapo Rub. [Tylenol does not treat congestion or runny nose. It is a pain medication. Also, Vicks Vapor Rub is not to be used in very young children, so this factoid is irresponsible for juxtaposing Tylenol use for congestion/runny nose and Vicks Vapor Rub for "youngest daughter".]

“If they tell you the medicine isn’t good for the child, it’s not worth it,” Hernandez said.

Johnson & Johnson said it has contacted wholesalers and retailers about the recall.

An inactive ingredient didn’t meet internal testing requirements, the company said, and B. cepacia bacteria were detected in a portion of raw material that went unused in the finished product.

The company said in a letter that no bacteria were found in the finished product, and that the likelihood of a serious medical event is remote. However, in consultation with the Food and Drug Administration, the company decided to recall the products.

“It was decided, as a precaution, to recall all product that utilized any of the raw material manufactured at the same time as the raw material that tested positive for the bacteria,” the company said.

— Staff writer Cristela Guerra contributed to this report

[Staff writer Cristela Guerra is likely responsible for adding the biased first half of the article as the second half, written in the style of an actual news report, objectively presents the actual facts of the matter.]

My other sword is a violin

Just had an idea while watching Classic Game Room's review of Warriors Orochi 2 for PSP. About halfway through, there is a loading or character select screen with a girl holding a shield and rapier. However, at a glance, her pose made it look like she was holding a violin and a bow.

Idea: Fighting game character who uses a violin and bow as a weapon. Her bow acts like a sword (mostly for poking) and her violin has razor sharp metal strings. I see one of her throws involving knocking her opponent to his knees, grabbing him by the back of the head, and then her violin string-side across his face. It would produce a discordant noise and leave four parallel gashes that rain blood down his chin. A finishing move would be similar but she would run her bow across his neck and leave him to bleed out in the sand. Obviously, she would also play her violin during the fight (maybe it should be a fiddle?), as a taunt, a special attack, and a victory animation.

Stupid Crappy Database

DnDOG went down while I was typing a post so here it goes until the boards come back:

-----

Sakure's latest edit reminded me of something I sent via PM but forgot to add to this thread:

You can choose a background benefit for your character. If you have the Character Builder, any of the Forgotten Realms or Scales of War backgrounds are fine (they all have concrete benefits compared to the General and Eberron ones). If you do not have access to the Character Builder, most of them either add two skills to your class skill list (you are [b]not[/b] automatically trained in them; they are simply available as one of your skill choices) and give you +1 to each skill, or add a single skill to your class skill list (again, not trained) and give you +3 to that skill.

Notes for Myself

I need to decide how treasure will be handled. No matter which method I choose, I want wish lists from the characters.

1. I can pick the treasures and place them in the adventure.
2. I can give players a reward before, during, or after the adventure.
3. Both.

L5R characters are not supposed to loot dead bodies but D&D is set up around looting dead bodies.

I think I will ask PCs how they would like it. I think I will mostly split it between giving the PCs items as rewards (before, during, and after), letting them find a few things in the adventure (especially items on their wish lists that do not fit with the Clan), and extending the PCs credit (substitute gold) for buying what they want.