Read a thread about how most RPG elves and dwarves and other races are funny-looking humans instead of actually different creatures. That is to say, they think and act like regular humans, maybe with a few dials turned up and down. There is nothing wrong with it, but the poster wanted something else. He wanted to see races that were more inhuman.
Wednesday, August 25, 2021
Tuesday, April 27, 2021
GURPS Ebony Death Goddess
Dungeon Fantastic: RIP Ray Harryhausen & the Ebony Death Goddess
Ebony Death Goddess
A golem-like construct in the form of 6’ midnight-black statue of a six-armed nude woman. It is made of some unknown stone-like material. Usually found guarding dark temples, or springing from magical statuettes made by some unknown creator. They project a magical field around their swords that allows them to shear through armor with ease. The swords, however, are usually mundane.
ST: 20 (2-1/3+2) HP: 20 Speed: 7.50
DX: 15 Will: 12 Move: 8
IQ: 8 Per: 12
HT: 15 FP: N/A SM: +0
DX: 15 Will: 12 Move: 8
IQ: 8 Per: 12
HT: 15 FP: N/A SM: +0
Dodge: 11+DB 2 Parry (x4)/Block (x2): 14+DB 2 DR: 5
Scimitar (20) (x4): 3d+3 (2) cutting or 2d (2) impaling; Reach 1. Usually launched as Deceptive Attacks -2 (4 in 6, effective skill 16) or Deceptive Attack -4 (2 in 6, effective skill 12).
Traits: Automaton; Cannot Learn; Combat Reflexes; Dark Vision; Doesn’t Breathe; Doesn’t Eat or Drink; Doesn’t Sleep; Extra Attack 3; Fragile (Unnatural); High Pain Threshold; Immunity to Metabolic Hazards; Indomitable; Injury Tolerance (Homogenous, No Blood); Pressure Support 3; Reprogrammable; Unfazeable; Unhealing (Total); Temperature Tolerance 10; Vacuum Support.
Skills: Broadsword-20 and Shield-20.
Class: Construct.
Notes: Cannot negotiate. Carries four scimitars and two indestructible medium shields (DB 2). Dull-witted but they fight intelligently. While it will engage multiple foes, it will generally try to attack one target as much as possible. Can and will use Cross Parry (see GURPS Martial Arts, p. 131) to deal with heavy attacks or if it needs a +2; Disintegrates into dust when destroyed, leaving only four normal quality scimitars (each $600, 3 lbs.); its shields are made of the same mysterious material as the statue and will disintegrate with it.
Skills: Broadsword-20 and Shield-20.
Class: Construct.
Notes: Cannot negotiate. Carries four scimitars and two indestructible medium shields (DB 2). Dull-witted but they fight intelligently. While it will engage multiple foes, it will generally try to attack one target as much as possible. Can and will use Cross Parry (see GURPS Martial Arts, p. 131) to deal with heavy attacks or if it needs a +2; Disintegrates into dust when destroyed, leaving only four normal quality scimitars (each $600, 3 lbs.); its shields are made of the same mysterious material as the statue and will disintegrate with it.
Notice the "magical field" effect is the (2) after weapon damage. It means that DR is halved vs the attack.
Friday, April 23, 2021
GURPS Gelatinous Cube (obstacle)
Dungeon Fantastic: Iconic Monster Use & GURPS 10'
Gelatin Cube Monster
Killer Cube O' Gelatin
A 10
foot cube of hunting gelatin. "Attacks" by moving into/onto a target
and then digesting it. Usually motors along at less than 1 yard/second, eating
mold, fungus, carrion, and wood (including doors in a pinch!), but it can and
will speed up if attacked or it senses a large amount of food.
ST: 0 HP: 10 Speed: 4.00
DX: 6 Will: 10 Move: 2
IQ: 1 Per: 8
HT: 10 FP: 10 SM: +4
Dodge: N/A Parry: N/A DR: 0
Slam or Touch (N/A): 1 point corrosive
damage (every 5 pts damage reduces DR by 1 and inflicts 1 damage) (doesn’t
affect most metals or any stone/pottery) plus paralysis (contact agent,
resisted by HT-2), lasts 1 minute after no longer in contact with cube.
Envelopment (N/A): It can fully envelop
paralyzed foes; envelopment does 10 points of corrosive damage per second, plus
paralysis as above.
Traits: Amphibious;
Discriminatory Smell; Doesn’t Breathe; Doesn’t Sleep; High Pain Threshold;
Immunity to Metabolic Hazards; Immunity to Mind Control; Injury Tolerance
(Homogenous; No Blood); Invertebrate; No Legs (Slithers); No Manipulators;
Regeneration (1 HP/Hour, not from fire); Silence 3; Universal Digestion;
Vibration Sense (Air).
Skills: Stealth-12.
Class: Slime
Notes: Nonsentient and can’t
negotiate. Plant/Slime spells won’t work. Gelatinous cube jelly is worth $10 a
quart, 1d6 quarts can be gathered from a slain cube.
And from the comments section
of that link:
- Wounded guys left behind, unconcious enemies left for "questioning later," corpses left for eventual resurrection - all have some real concerns with this thing. Armed and ready adventurers? None.
- Or deploy them by the dozens as support for the 10 x 10 x 10 yard Mother Cube that does 3d corrosive or so and has a boatload more HP.
- An interesting variation on the cube would be to make it Diffuse, and make it a cloud of corrosive digestive vapor-slime instead. That would make it much harder to kill.
- Basically, it's a way to:
- explain why corpses, etc. disappear
- why chalk marks and such disappear from walls when your players ask why you didn't mention their chalk marks from eight sessions ago
- make it dangerous to leave wounded companions behind or leave corpses behind for later recovery and resurrection
- make it dangerous to let your guard down
- make a mobile obstacle, so previously "safe" places might not be safe this time. Or later on.
- make it dangerous to run in a dungeon, even to try and run out of the dungeon.
But it's not a foe any more than that 10' pit
is.
I really like the idea of the cloud of corrosive vapor-slime. Harder to kill and likely faster moving. Maybe after sufficient meal it thickens out into a regular gelatinous cube and either remains stationary or slowly treks back to a "lair" to digest. It then returns to its vapor form before going on the hunt again.
Thursday, November 12, 2020
Bound to the Black Sea
Kernel of an idea that came to me while driving. I was listening to a podcast (Make Me Smart) and they were talking about the move by the right wing from Facebook to apps like Parler. One of the hosts mentioned that someone had pronounced it like parley instead of parlor and the thought of pirates immediately leapt into mind.
Why would pirates respect a code of conduct like the law of parley (as seen in Pirates of the Caribbean)? Perhaps they are magically bound to do so.
I thought of a large, literally black sea. It could be in the overworld or contained in a vast underground cavern. Any who try to enter the waters or even sail upon the black sea are consumed by it unless they first make a pact to bind themselves. Those who are bound to the black sea must remain within a certain distance of its waters but they are otherwise safe from its deadly consumption (able to swim and sail). This binding includes certain idiosyncrasies, one of which is the law of parley (the rest to be determined later; they will likely include certain weird/faerie things that make little sense to us but serve an unknown/unfathomable [see what I did there] purpose). If one breaks the laws of the black sea, various ill fates may befall them (black tentacles from the unseen depths drag you down; a host of bloated corpses [previous unbound who met their demise] clamber upon your ship or even onto the nearby shore to tear you apart; etc.).
Why would one want to bind themselves to the black sea? Because it is filled with islands brimming with rare resources and outright treasure. Despite its dangers, there are settlements on its shores where one could live it up after acquiring riches from its dark waters. Many exotic plants, animals, and materials are to be found in the black sea and merchants hawk them to traders who visit the nearby cities and town.
Some ideas can be found in an old post about a Pirates of the Sunless Sea idea by Phindar (http://eldriciv.blogspot.com/2008/05/underdark-locations.html). A somewhat similar but separate idea is the Black Pudding Lake (https://eldriciv.blogspot.com/2017/09/black-pudding-lake.html). And perhaps at the center of the black sea lies a lost island (http://eldriciv.blogspot.com/2008/05/lost-island.html).
Friday, June 28, 2019
Arabian Adventures: Voyages of Sinbad
As mentioned last post, I am interested in doing a Middle East world. As part of that, I am reading 1001 Arabian Nights. My copy includes the Voyages of Sinbad (apparently not part of the historical text but a later addition). It bears resemblance to the Odyssey, in that the protagonist travels amongst strange lands and is beset by wondrous obstacles. I find that the text is a great example of old school D&D. How so?
The story is told in flashbacks, so Sinbad survived to tell the tales of his seven voyages. Throughout the stories, however, many of his companions die. Old school D&D has higher potential for death and likely lots of PCs, henchmen, and hirelings die throughout a campaign. Only those who survive and are left at the end will have gained levels and can tell the tale, making themselves out as heroes. But they were not fated from the beginning to do so (in that sense, Sinbad differs from Odysseus). Modern RPGs weight the game in favor of the players to help safeguard continuity of characters and allow for lengthier character arcs. Old school D&D leaves everyone to the mercy of the dice in a hostile and uncaring world, allowing survivors alone to make up their tales.
I want to summarize each of Sinbad's voyages in this or another post. However, the end of the fourth voyage occasions my writing now.
Sinbad was stranded in a rich foreign kingdom where he often attended the royal court. The King much enjoyed his company and coerced him to marry a local rich lady and stay in his country. Sinbad played along but desired to escape back to his own land (Baghdad). One of the locals, whom Sinbad had befriended, lost his wife to sickness. He lamented the loss and sinbad tried to cheer him up. That is when Sinbad discovered that in this country, when one spouse dies, the other is buried alive with the corpse (which is dressed in the richest clothes and jewels). And Sinbad had married a local. She soon fell sick and died. The whole court followed Sinbad into the mountains where a large rock covered a pit that went deep into the rock. They lowered the open coffin with his dead wife and then lowered him in another open coffin with seven loaves of bread and a jug of water. He found himself in a vast cave with lots of decomposing bodies. He survived as he could with his limited supplies and, just as he was in danger of starving, another couple was lowered into the pit. Sinbad clubbed the woman to death with a bone and stole her provisions. He kept at this for several iterations (apparently there was a plague in town) before finally discovering a hole to the oceanside deep in the cave. Some unknown creature used the tunnel to enter the cave and feed on the corpses. He managed to flag down a ship and made off with the valuables from inside the cave.
Easy adventure idea with a dungeon, a means of escape, and a "boss" monster. Would fit well in Lebanon given the tall seaside mountains.
The story is told in flashbacks, so Sinbad survived to tell the tales of his seven voyages. Throughout the stories, however, many of his companions die. Old school D&D has higher potential for death and likely lots of PCs, henchmen, and hirelings die throughout a campaign. Only those who survive and are left at the end will have gained levels and can tell the tale, making themselves out as heroes. But they were not fated from the beginning to do so (in that sense, Sinbad differs from Odysseus). Modern RPGs weight the game in favor of the players to help safeguard continuity of characters and allow for lengthier character arcs. Old school D&D leaves everyone to the mercy of the dice in a hostile and uncaring world, allowing survivors alone to make up their tales.
I want to summarize each of Sinbad's voyages in this or another post. However, the end of the fourth voyage occasions my writing now.
Sinbad was stranded in a rich foreign kingdom where he often attended the royal court. The King much enjoyed his company and coerced him to marry a local rich lady and stay in his country. Sinbad played along but desired to escape back to his own land (Baghdad). One of the locals, whom Sinbad had befriended, lost his wife to sickness. He lamented the loss and sinbad tried to cheer him up. That is when Sinbad discovered that in this country, when one spouse dies, the other is buried alive with the corpse (which is dressed in the richest clothes and jewels). And Sinbad had married a local. She soon fell sick and died. The whole court followed Sinbad into the mountains where a large rock covered a pit that went deep into the rock. They lowered the open coffin with his dead wife and then lowered him in another open coffin with seven loaves of bread and a jug of water. He found himself in a vast cave with lots of decomposing bodies. He survived as he could with his limited supplies and, just as he was in danger of starving, another couple was lowered into the pit. Sinbad clubbed the woman to death with a bone and stole her provisions. He kept at this for several iterations (apparently there was a plague in town) before finally discovering a hole to the oceanside deep in the cave. Some unknown creature used the tunnel to enter the cave and feed on the corpses. He managed to flag down a ship and made off with the valuables from inside the cave.
Easy adventure idea with a dungeon, a means of escape, and a "boss" monster. Would fit well in Lebanon given the tall seaside mountains.
Monday, June 3, 2019
Arabian Adventures
I watched the new live-action Aladdin movie and it inspired me with visions of a Middle Eastern/Indian/Turkmenistan setting for ACKS.
Fenereux is still on my mind and I want to continue developing the setting. However, I wanted another setting that was more established (historically, both in game and in the real world) to help me grasp the realm mechanics. The issue I have had with ACKS has always been my attempt to use it for the colonization campaign for Trokair (and subsequently Fenereux) while the rules seem to want to describe kingdoms and realms that have been in existence for some time (for the initial worldbuilding section).
By modeling a new setting where realms have risen and fallen over the centuries, rather than trying to establish colonies and realms whole cloth in a "new world", I can see how the rules work in situ.
I also want to learn more about the Middle East, particularly Lebanon and the Levant, for my own purposes to understand current geopolitics and better understand my children's heritage on their mother's side.
Finally, I think having a Mediterranean-style geography helps to open the world up a bit. Fenereux was really meant to restrict travel to overland to help contain the setting. By setting up the realms around the Red Sea and Mediterranean Sea, I can flex my "create just enough at a time" DM muscles by touching on more realms (Fenereux has such a light touch that non-Birmver realms are just broad concepts because the players are specifically not meant to travel from one realm to another except in very controlled ways).
The realm I will concentrate on is based heavily on the ancient Nabatean kingdom. They created the ruins at Petra and Mada'in al-Saleh (also known as Hegra). Hegra is really awesome. They carved tombs into the side of giant boulders. And I mean GIANT boulders. Some of these things could easily house medium, multi-level dungeons (Qasr al-Farid or Qasr al-Bint). Others could have smaller dungeons or connect to an underground megadungeon. Of course, you also have the Aladdin-inspired Cave of Wonders.
One of the main ideas that is stuck in my head are the Twin Princes. They are literally twins who adventure around the realms seeking fame, fortune, and glory for their realm (still ruled by their father). They are able to act as friends and foes to the PCs depending on whether the party is in their way or working to further their aims.
I am not sure how I want to handle religion. I feel like I want to avoid having a very strong Islam vibe as my historical inspiration is pre-Islam.
Fenereux is still on my mind and I want to continue developing the setting. However, I wanted another setting that was more established (historically, both in game and in the real world) to help me grasp the realm mechanics. The issue I have had with ACKS has always been my attempt to use it for the colonization campaign for Trokair (and subsequently Fenereux) while the rules seem to want to describe kingdoms and realms that have been in existence for some time (for the initial worldbuilding section).
By modeling a new setting where realms have risen and fallen over the centuries, rather than trying to establish colonies and realms whole cloth in a "new world", I can see how the rules work in situ.
I also want to learn more about the Middle East, particularly Lebanon and the Levant, for my own purposes to understand current geopolitics and better understand my children's heritage on their mother's side.
Finally, I think having a Mediterranean-style geography helps to open the world up a bit. Fenereux was really meant to restrict travel to overland to help contain the setting. By setting up the realms around the Red Sea and Mediterranean Sea, I can flex my "create just enough at a time" DM muscles by touching on more realms (Fenereux has such a light touch that non-Birmver realms are just broad concepts because the players are specifically not meant to travel from one realm to another except in very controlled ways).
The realm I will concentrate on is based heavily on the ancient Nabatean kingdom. They created the ruins at Petra and Mada'in al-Saleh (also known as Hegra). Hegra is really awesome. They carved tombs into the side of giant boulders. And I mean GIANT boulders. Some of these things could easily house medium, multi-level dungeons (Qasr al-Farid or Qasr al-Bint). Others could have smaller dungeons or connect to an underground megadungeon. Of course, you also have the Aladdin-inspired Cave of Wonders.
One of the main ideas that is stuck in my head are the Twin Princes. They are literally twins who adventure around the realms seeking fame, fortune, and glory for their realm (still ruled by their father). They are able to act as friends and foes to the PCs depending on whether the party is in their way or working to further their aims.
I am not sure how I want to handle religion. I feel like I want to avoid having a very strong Islam vibe as my historical inspiration is pre-Islam.
Friday, November 23, 2018
Home & Kitchen Wish List
Cuisinart 14c Custom Food Processor DFP-14BCNY
Lava Signature 7 Qt. Enameled Cast Iron Round Dutch Oven
ThermaPen Mk4 instant read thermometer
Geothermal HVAC?
Dedicated sink water heaters
Rooftop solar panels
Solar water heater
Wall mounted electric oven
Gas range
Weber Spirit II E-310 gas grill
Canning stock pot, rack, bottle holder
- Pressure canner?
KitchenAid bowl scraper paddle
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Birmver Deities
Hildr - Giantess of war, valor, and honor
Brynhildr - Jotunsdotter, The Shieldmaiden
Angrboda - Mother of Beasts, Giantess of wolves and monsters
Skadi - Giantess of winter, hunting, and justice
Hyndla - Giantess of bloodlines, prophecy, and shamanism (dogs)
Odin - God of battle, knowledge, poetry, magic, and runes
Thor Odinsson - God of battle, storms, strength, and the Vos/Varsk
- Name means "battle"
- One of the Valkyrie (a group of 12)
- Raises the valiant dead from the battlefield and takes them to Folkvangr/Valhalla
Brynhildr - Jotunsdotter, The Shieldmaiden
- Names means "battle armor"
- The first of the Jotunsdottrar
- Ascended into demigod status beside her mother Hildr
Angrboda - Mother of Beasts, Giantess of wolves and monsters
- Name means "one who brings grief" or "she-who-offers-sorrow"
- Also known as Iárnvidia, "She of the Iron Wood"
- Mother of the wolf Fenrir, the world-serpent Jormundgandr, and the goddess Hel
- Also countless other monsters
- Her monstrous children are meant to test the Jotunsdottrar
Skadi - Giantess of winter, hunting, and justice
- Name means either "harm" or "shadow"
- Lives on the highest mountain peak where the snow never melts
- Instead of darkness, cold, and death, she represents survival and subsistence through winter
- Invented snowshoes and skis
Hyndla - Giantess of bloodlines, prophecy, and shamanism (dogs)
- Names means "hound"
- Lives deep in an ice cave in the homeland guarded by ettins
- Appears as a very old wisewoman, bent with age to a height not much greater than human
- Seemingly asleep most of the time
- Travels about in the astral realm ("faring forth") tracing every creature's ancestry
- Can follow a bloodline from the past to make a prediction about the future
Odin - God of battle, knowledge, poetry, magic, and runes
- Name means "inspiration, rage, frenzy"
- Called the All-Father
- Has literally dozens of different names as he regularly adopts disguises
- Sacrificed an eye for knowledge, wisdom, and the "far sight"
- Somewhat popular among the Vos and Varsk
- Tolerated by the Jotunsdottrar as Odin's mother was a giantess (Bestla)
- Considered a conniving and inscrutable deity
- Known to favor certain mortals to the detriment of others
- As long as Odin's chosen come out on top
- Particularly favors berserkers and warrior-shamans (bear and wolf totems)
- Also known as a god of outcasts and outlaws
- Also the patron god of magic-users (typically considered a feminine art among the Vos/Varsk but a masculine one among the Jotunsdottrar)
- Rides the eight-legged horse Sleipnir, wields the magic spear Gungnir, and is accompanied by his familiar (fylgjur/fylgja) ravens (Hugin and Munin) and his wolves (Geri and Freki)
Thor Odinsson - God of battle, storms, strength, and the Vos/Varsk
- Name means "thunder" and "son of Odin"
- Called the Giant-Slayer
- Wields the magic hammer Mjollnir (which means "lightning")
- Very popular among the Vos and Varsk, particularly as you move inland
- Barely tolerated by the Jotunsdottrar as Thor's father was half-giant and his mother, Jord, was a giantess
- Not wise to call him "Odinsson" or especially "Giant-Slayer" within hearing range of a Jotunsdotter
- Viewed as the god who safeguards civilization
Freyr + Freya - God and goddess of elves, warriors, magic
- Names mean "lord" and "lady"
- Androgynous sibling-spouses of the elven pantheon
- Skilled at war, magic, poetry, and art
Snorri - Placehold god for dwarves
Birmver - Names
A list of randomly generated names to use for towns and people (NPCs, henchmen, etc.) in Birmver. The random generator used (which I unfortunately did not bookmark) states that it uses real names from historical Norse towns. The people names might not be historical but are supposed to be drawn from real Norse names.
As of this writing, none have been assigned.
Towns (names with * are for Vos/Varsk settlements):
As of this writing, none have been assigned.
- Havarvarf*
- Skutilsfjuror
- Osvifsloekr
- Krossavik*
- Grenmarr*
- Oddgeirsholar
- Hroarsholt
- Hranafall
- Grimsdalr*
- Krofluhellir
- Bragaoss
- Gunnsteinar*
- Lonland*
- Kirkjusandr
- Jannaskaro
People:
Male (half of these names came from dropping -son from last names):
- Arinbjorn
- Sibbi
- Gest
- Dag
- Skuli
- Modolf
- Svafar
- Hrodgoeir
- Gudlaug
- Ketilbiorn
- Jorund
- Hrapp
- Ornulf
- Valthjof
- Audgisil
- Gnupa
- Hreidar
- Gudmund
- Raudebjorn
- Tjorvi
- Bergljot
- Tonna
- Reginleif
- Ingrid
- Jodis
- Ingithera
- Sigvor
- Hallfrid
- Nidbiorg
- Audhild
- Melkorka
- Gjaflaug
- Ormhild
- Hervor
- Luta
- Guthny
- Tufi
- Authulf
- Sighad
- Mak
- Ingimund
- Vermund
- Gunbjorn
- Giermund
- Thorgeir
- Thurid
- Lini
- Geri
- Jarlabanki
- Aerika
- Hjorvif
- Frist
A few name elements in Norse. Elements marked * were distinctly female. There are way more of these and any of them are appropriate for Birmver characters.
- -bjorn = bear
- -dis* = goddess, woman, lady
- Gud- = god, good
- -laug = celebrate marriage, dedicated, promised
- -mund = protector
- -vif* = woman, wife
- -son = son (uncommon for the Jotunsdottrar but used widely amongst the Vos/Varsk)
- -leif = heir, descendant
- -ulf = wolf
- -hild = battle, fight
- -ny* = new, fresh, young
- Sig- = victory
- -veig* = power, strength
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Black Pudding Lake
Inspired by a critique of World's Largest Dungeon that mentioned a black pudding with extra HD.
I saw in my mind a vast underground lake. However, the water was actually a colossal black pudding. The party arrived at its shore and spotted a large, flat boat carved from solid stone. Such a boat would never float on water but stone is the only material that can withstand the powerful acids exuded by a black pudding.
The black pudding is a viscous ooze, so the boat cannot just float across it like on water. No wind will sail the vessel in the sticky stuff. No oars can propel through the muck. No pole can find purchase in the lakebed far below. Instead, the party has to manipulate the black pudding into moving the boat by tossing wooden or metal objects into the slime behind them. The black pudding reacts to such "food" by swelling and engulfing the prize, thus shunting the boat a short distance in the opposite direction.
Of course, that does mean the party must find a way to move the incredibly heavy boat onto the pudding in the first place, and far enough from shore to accommodate its strange propulsion.
I saw in my mind a vast underground lake. However, the water was actually a colossal black pudding. The party arrived at its shore and spotted a large, flat boat carved from solid stone. Such a boat would never float on water but stone is the only material that can withstand the powerful acids exuded by a black pudding.
The black pudding is a viscous ooze, so the boat cannot just float across it like on water. No wind will sail the vessel in the sticky stuff. No oars can propel through the muck. No pole can find purchase in the lakebed far below. Instead, the party has to manipulate the black pudding into moving the boat by tossing wooden or metal objects into the slime behind them. The black pudding reacts to such "food" by swelling and engulfing the prize, thus shunting the boat a short distance in the opposite direction.
Of course, that does mean the party must find a way to move the incredibly heavy boat onto the pudding in the first place, and far enough from shore to accommodate its strange propulsion.
Friday, August 25, 2017
Ghost Dog Castle Compound
From a Cracked article,
"First, Ailes quickly decided he needed to buy up all the properties surrounding his new house so that he could have a Soviet Union-style property buffer zone.
http://virtualglobetrotting.com/map/roger-ailes-house-1/view/google/
"First, Ailes quickly decided he needed to buy up all the properties surrounding his new house so that he could have a Soviet Union-style property buffer zone.
http://virtualglobetrotting.com/map/roger-ailes-house-1/view/google/
He didn't mean for the vegetation to die and the animals to ooze black liquid from their eyes, but it was a welcome development.
On top of that, Ailes put together an underground bunker filled with approximately six months' worth of survival rations -- you know, just in case some Kenyan Muslim got elected president or something. Further terrified that "liberal New Yorkers" might get to him or his family somehow, he got the family a German Shepherd that went everywhere with them and was trained to patrol the grounds before Ailes got out of the car upon arriving home. However, what good is a bloodthirsty dog if it can't also bring you a truly fair and balanced newspaper?"
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Vulture Bees and Bone Worms - Meat Honey
Vulture Bees
Bone Worms
http://listverse.com/2013/05/30/10-amazing-and-creepy-corpse-fauna/
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Combination Animals - There are more than just the platypus
How often can I dip into the well that is Cracked's articles on animals. This time, it is from 9 animals that are just lazy combinations of other animals. These might work well with my Animal Planet idea to use Avatar-the-Last-Airbender-style combo animals ("I love you, my little turtle-duck") to differentiate the anthropomorphic player races from "regular" fauna.
9. Chevrotain
This is a combination deer and mouse about the size of a rabbit. It has the body and head of a mouse with the long, thin legs and hooves of a deer. Oh, and the males have saber-teeth. I can totally see a larger version of these serving as mounts and/or game for small races (like a pony-sized chevrotain for a halfling knight). The deer-mouse combination has a heavy fairy influence and so would also be very at home with pixies and other fae, in which case the smaller, rabbit-sized versions would work well. A full, clydesdale-sized version would be freaky weird with a fae hunter riding on its back (the type of elven-esque fae that stand like 7 feet tall).
8. Pichiciego (pink fairy armadillo)
A combination prairie dog and armadillo. The claws on these guys are wicked sick. They are quite small and eat ants. I can see an obvious giant version that eats giant ants or other large vermin. I can also see rat to guinea pig to rabbit-sized ones serving as wizard familiars or dwarven/gnomish pets.
7. Piglet Squid
Guess. This squid swims upside down with curly tentacles, a bulbous growth (snout) beneath its large, twinkling (literally; it has light-emitting organs in its eyes), anime-like eyes, and a bloated "head" that looks like a round little piggy body. It also has skin coloration that makes it look like a big smiley face when viewed head on. Given the cutesy appearance, it is more difficult to imagine this as a threat. And I am not interested in an anime mascot creature. I think I would make them larger, about the size of a seal up to walrus/manatee territory, and they would serve as a source of food. Because it swims upside down and the tentacles point up, it must travel along the bottom of the water and hide among seaweed and such to disguise the tentacles until something swims by, at which point it strikes.
6. Colugo
Bat + monkey. The colugo *is* Momo from Avatar (it is even called a flying lemur and lives in Southeast Asia). As with the pichiciego, this could totally be a wizard's familiar. It would also be super creepy to have a troop (monkey) or colony (bat) of colugo screaming and jumping and gliding and chasing after you through a dense tropical jungle like a giant black cloud of fur and fangs. They offer all the high pitched shrieking and too-human eyes and nasty sharp fangs as monkeys as well as the unsettling wing-skin and nasty sharp fangs and blood-drinking connotations as bats. I think they work best at real size in large groups until you get to the point of a truly humongous one.
5. Saiga
When a goat and an elephant fall in love ... Despite the elephant part, the trunk is very, very short and looks like a bit of a bulbous nose. I imagine in real life they are larger than goats but in-game they would be moose-sized or maybe a bit larger. I would also make the nose longer; not quite elephantine in length but enough that they could reach the ground to pull up grass or reach up to pull down leaves without moving the head too far either way. They have large, straight-to-slightly-curved goat horns but no tusks. They might need tusks. One of the best things about them is that they can eat otherwise poisonous plants. I would take this to mean that their meat is more or less poisonous as well, depending on how often they have to dine on the poison plants.
4. Bilby
Body of a kangaroo, ears of a rabbit, face of a possum - by your powers combined, I am ADORABLE. The bilby is another small mammal that would not offer much by way of an antagonist. Again, wizard's familiar is on the potential job list. Otherwise, they are too cute to leave out. Bonus fact: they are endangered because the bilby gets its butt kicked by cats ... and RABBITS.
3. Honduran White Bat
The article says hamster plus pig but these guys look like furry white bats. They do have the ran-into-a-wall bat nose that looks like a spade-shaped pig snout, I guess. They are also cotton-ball white (like real cotton, so a dirty white rather than bleachy-clean white), furry, and cute. They also carry ALL the diseases. I think keeping them small and in swarms like stirges works well. They swoop in, bite, and fly away. In real life they eat fruit and they form "tents" by bending over the broad leaves of the fruit trees where they sleep during the day. I think, given the white coloration, it would be more fun if they were vampire bats and the locals know that white bats mean danger while red bats mean peace (they are red from all the blood of their latest meal and they only feed every few nights). Another idea is to have the disease they carry cause multiple weeping wounds, a foul smell, and severe fatigue. It would have a fast onset and the bats would make a brief initial attack to infect their prey then they would wait until the target succumbed to the disease. The foul smell would aid the bats in tracking the meal, the large weeping wounds would provide easier access to the blood (these are tiny little bats after all), and the fatigue would leave the afflicted unable to ward off the bats when they finally came to feed.
2. Velvet Ant
A wasp that looks like an ant and a bee (they are fuzzy and their coloration ranges from black&yellow to brown to red). The females are wingless and so they crawl about like ants on the ground, but much bigger. They make honey, too. The males have two pairs of transparent black wings, because why the hell not. However, what is awesome is that they have terribly painful stings that have earned them the nickname "cow killer." Their stingers are over an inch long and pierce like a needle. As with all vermin, giant versions are just as awesome. As a technical issue, they are mostly solitary, so you should not be encountering a whole colony of them as you would with ants. However, they are much bigger than ants and the stinger is likely much more dangerous than an ant's bite. Of course, there is no reason why you could not have a large beehive of winged males and a large anthill of wingless females forming a double-pronged "why I hate bugs" murder machine.
1. Pangolin
Snake + Anteater = Dragon scales. This creature looks like an anteater with some of the heaviest armor-looking scales in the animal kingdom (they are actually similar to human nails) and a long, serpentine body. It also has a forked snake tongue that can be longer than its entire body. It is able to roll up into a fully armored ball and can roll along the ground that way. These are definitely creatures that you would want to make larger. The pictures also have a very draconic aspect to the scales that really want to shout "give me a breath weapon".
9. Chevrotain
This is a combination deer and mouse about the size of a rabbit. It has the body and head of a mouse with the long, thin legs and hooves of a deer. Oh, and the males have saber-teeth. I can totally see a larger version of these serving as mounts and/or game for small races (like a pony-sized chevrotain for a halfling knight). The deer-mouse combination has a heavy fairy influence and so would also be very at home with pixies and other fae, in which case the smaller, rabbit-sized versions would work well. A full, clydesdale-sized version would be freaky weird with a fae hunter riding on its back (the type of elven-esque fae that stand like 7 feet tall).
8. Pichiciego (pink fairy armadillo)
A combination prairie dog and armadillo. The claws on these guys are wicked sick. They are quite small and eat ants. I can see an obvious giant version that eats giant ants or other large vermin. I can also see rat to guinea pig to rabbit-sized ones serving as wizard familiars or dwarven/gnomish pets.
7. Piglet Squid
Guess. This squid swims upside down with curly tentacles, a bulbous growth (snout) beneath its large, twinkling (literally; it has light-emitting organs in its eyes), anime-like eyes, and a bloated "head" that looks like a round little piggy body. It also has skin coloration that makes it look like a big smiley face when viewed head on. Given the cutesy appearance, it is more difficult to imagine this as a threat. And I am not interested in an anime mascot creature. I think I would make them larger, about the size of a seal up to walrus/manatee territory, and they would serve as a source of food. Because it swims upside down and the tentacles point up, it must travel along the bottom of the water and hide among seaweed and such to disguise the tentacles until something swims by, at which point it strikes.
6. Colugo
Bat + monkey. The colugo *is* Momo from Avatar (it is even called a flying lemur and lives in Southeast Asia). As with the pichiciego, this could totally be a wizard's familiar. It would also be super creepy to have a troop (monkey) or colony (bat) of colugo screaming and jumping and gliding and chasing after you through a dense tropical jungle like a giant black cloud of fur and fangs. They offer all the high pitched shrieking and too-human eyes and nasty sharp fangs as monkeys as well as the unsettling wing-skin and nasty sharp fangs and blood-drinking connotations as bats. I think they work best at real size in large groups until you get to the point of a truly humongous one.
5. Saiga
When a goat and an elephant fall in love ... Despite the elephant part, the trunk is very, very short and looks like a bit of a bulbous nose. I imagine in real life they are larger than goats but in-game they would be moose-sized or maybe a bit larger. I would also make the nose longer; not quite elephantine in length but enough that they could reach the ground to pull up grass or reach up to pull down leaves without moving the head too far either way. They have large, straight-to-slightly-curved goat horns but no tusks. They might need tusks. One of the best things about them is that they can eat otherwise poisonous plants. I would take this to mean that their meat is more or less poisonous as well, depending on how often they have to dine on the poison plants.
4. Bilby
Body of a kangaroo, ears of a rabbit, face of a possum - by your powers combined, I am ADORABLE. The bilby is another small mammal that would not offer much by way of an antagonist. Again, wizard's familiar is on the potential job list. Otherwise, they are too cute to leave out. Bonus fact: they are endangered because the bilby gets its butt kicked by cats ... and RABBITS.
3. Honduran White Bat
The article says hamster plus pig but these guys look like furry white bats. They do have the ran-into-a-wall bat nose that looks like a spade-shaped pig snout, I guess. They are also cotton-ball white (like real cotton, so a dirty white rather than bleachy-clean white), furry, and cute. They also carry ALL the diseases. I think keeping them small and in swarms like stirges works well. They swoop in, bite, and fly away. In real life they eat fruit and they form "tents" by bending over the broad leaves of the fruit trees where they sleep during the day. I think, given the white coloration, it would be more fun if they were vampire bats and the locals know that white bats mean danger while red bats mean peace (they are red from all the blood of their latest meal and they only feed every few nights). Another idea is to have the disease they carry cause multiple weeping wounds, a foul smell, and severe fatigue. It would have a fast onset and the bats would make a brief initial attack to infect their prey then they would wait until the target succumbed to the disease. The foul smell would aid the bats in tracking the meal, the large weeping wounds would provide easier access to the blood (these are tiny little bats after all), and the fatigue would leave the afflicted unable to ward off the bats when they finally came to feed.
2. Velvet Ant
A wasp that looks like an ant and a bee (they are fuzzy and their coloration ranges from black&yellow to brown to red). The females are wingless and so they crawl about like ants on the ground, but much bigger. They make honey, too. The males have two pairs of transparent black wings, because why the hell not. However, what is awesome is that they have terribly painful stings that have earned them the nickname "cow killer." Their stingers are over an inch long and pierce like a needle. As with all vermin, giant versions are just as awesome. As a technical issue, they are mostly solitary, so you should not be encountering a whole colony of them as you would with ants. However, they are much bigger than ants and the stinger is likely much more dangerous than an ant's bite. Of course, there is no reason why you could not have a large beehive of winged males and a large anthill of wingless females forming a double-pronged "why I hate bugs" murder machine.
1. Pangolin
Snake + Anteater = Dragon scales. This creature looks like an anteater with some of the heaviest armor-looking scales in the animal kingdom (they are actually similar to human nails) and a long, serpentine body. It also has a forked snake tongue that can be longer than its entire body. It is able to roll up into a fully armored ball and can roll along the ground that way. These are definitely creatures that you would want to make larger. The pictures also have a very draconic aspect to the scales that really want to shout "give me a breath weapon".
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Two Quotes
First, some good advice via Cracked regarding advice:
"If someone tells you what they wish they would have done, listen. If they only tell you things they wouldn't have done, ignore them, because they've confused regret with wisdom. When someone fantasizes about having achieved less in life instead of figuring out how to make things better, that's more of a review of the life than the problem. Even when they're right about the problem, they're the wrong person to help you solve it."
Second, the rifle prayer from Full Metal Jacket (or something very similar):
"If someone tells you what they wish they would have done, listen. If they only tell you things they wouldn't have done, ignore them, because they've confused regret with wisdom. When someone fantasizes about having achieved less in life instead of figuring out how to make things better, that's more of a review of the life than the problem. Even when they're right about the problem, they're the wrong person to help you solve it."
Second, the rifle prayer from Full Metal Jacket (or something very similar):
"This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this
one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I
must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am
useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who
is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God
I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the
masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is
no enemy, but peace. Amen"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)